Marcia came to fostering under difficult circumstances. “My sister-in-law was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer, and she worried about who would take care of her 3 children. Her children do not have the same father and there were many difficult conversations around who would look after which child. To keep the siblings together, I offered to foster them.”
Marcia reached out to the local authority to begin the process of fostering, however, she soon found out that she would struggle to support the children with the allowances offered. “As much as we reworked the figures, we simply could not afford to look after them.”
Determined to support children in care, Marcia looked toward private fostering agencies and came to Banya. With Banya’s support, Marcia successfully fostered the siblings and has since opened her doors to 18 children.
“Although I’ve been a foster carer with Banya for over 25 years, I’ve had fewer placements than some foster carers because my foster children tend to spend quite a few years with me. One young person initially came to stay as a 4-week short-term placement. They left after 16 years!”
“My journey as a foster carer has been incredibly rewarding. The sense of accomplishment in seeing these children grow and thrive is indescribable.”
Marcia offers her tips from years of fostering:
- Remember to take one step at a time
Each individual step is a significant milestone, a pivotal role in helping children move closer to realising their potential. Your dedicated work will not only influence the children, it will also nurture growth and development within the entire family unit. This ripple effect will positively change each generation, one step at a time. - Always ask for more information regarding referrals
Social services can share limited information on the young people placed in your care. Ask experienced carers for more information and you’ll get a better understanding of how you and the young person fit together. - Set ground rules early
Think about what is non-negotiable in your household. This helps the child understand your expectations and empowers you as a foster carer, giving you a sense of control in the situation. You can always loosen them later if you wish. - Take care of your family
Privacy is limited when fostering, so be prepared and consider how a new child might interact with your children. - You can’t expect the same from a foster child as you would from your own
You can’t do things based on what you would with your own child. Take nothing for granted. Never assume, and check their care plan. If it’s not in their care plan, check with the supervising social worker. Identify areas where you can be flexible and adaptable to their needs. You will need to be to care for the child and work with professionals.
- It’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed or exhausted
Perhaps you find you have reduced feelings of empathy or sensitivity, or you are finding a placement particularly challenging. Please know that you are not alone. Discuss this with your supervising social worker so they can direct you to the correct well-being support. Asking for help will not mean the children will be removed from your home. Recognising our vulnerabilities is a strength; your supervising social worker will help you.
- Your well-being is just as important
Don’t feel guilty if you need some time away. It’s good to take a minute to recharge and re-centre yourself. You are valued and your needs matter and there are temporary carers available who can look after the foster children while you are focussing on your wellbeing. - Recognise your limits
Most children coming into your care will have emotional difficulties and sometimes physical health problems. Think about what you can and cannot deal with, and recognise you can’t always fix things. - Never forget, there will be many who touch you and your family’s heart
The aim of fostering is that if there is any possible way, the children will return to their birth families or relatives. Short-term children may stay with you until they’re adults, but in many cases – they will leave and you need to be able to let go.
If you’re ready to take on the rewarding role of fostering, get in touch with us to get started.
