Our current foster carers will be the first to tell you how rewarding fostering is – and also how many fostering challenges they face. Below are three of the most common issues – and tried and tested ways of tackling them.
1. Managing Challenging Behaviour
Foster children come from different backgrounds and sometimes will have complex needs which require specialised therapeutic care to help them manage their emotions and regulate their behaviour. Children with complex needs may present challenging behaviour such as aggression, self-injurious behaviour, shouting/swearing, sexualised behaviour in public, throwing items/breaking things and soiling/smearing.
To help them deal with what they’re going through, and to overcome or manage these behaviours, it’s important to bear in mind the possible reasons behind them: physical or mental health issues, abusive relationships during early development, or trouble adjusting to a new way of life.
How should you react to these behaviours? Every child’s needs and behaviour are different and sometimes “acting out” is a communication and copying mechanism for the child. Observing and understanding their behaviour is a good place to start. This paves they way for a Positive Behaviour Support Plan to be developed. Our specialised Therapeutic Intervention training equips you with the right skills to manage challenging behaviour. You will also have access to professional support from your Supervising Social Worker (SSW), peer groups and other professionals.
2. Interacting With Biological Families
The primary aim for a successful fostering placement is to reunite the child with their birth family. Providing a consistent, reliable base from which children can connect with their families safely is an essential part of the process. Foster carers play a crucial role in supporting children’s relationships. The approach to the tasks involved in maintaining contact with birth family members can affect the welfare of the fostered children and the stability of the placement. Sometimes the relationship between the birth family and the foster carers may be challenging making contact difficult or unsafe.
Anger and resentment might be aimed at you, with parents refusing to see you as someone who’s trying to help. But stick at it and give them a chance. Maintaining these relationships can have long-term benefits for the child’s wellbeing, so it’s important to see past previous parental challenges and focus on the future.
How can you manage these relationships? The Placement Plan details how and when contact should be made. It is important to always liaise with your Supervising Social Worker before facilitating contact. They will provide professional advice and ensure that all risks are assessed and managed. Keep to any appointments you make, be patient, positive and remain professional. This approach creates a better chance for positive engagement with the child’s family.
3. Experiencing Exhaustion In Your Own Life
Burnout can be a real problem for foster carers, especially when caring for multiple children. Foster parenting is hard work – it may just be the hardest work you ever do! You will often find yourself exhausted, both mentally and physically. Finding the right balance between your work, social life and other relationships can be difficult.
If you begin to feel run down, unmotivated or depressed, it’s time to call your Supervising Social Worker to find a solution together and make some changes as soon as possible. After all, if you’re too exhausted to care for yourself, you’ll have a difficult time giving a foster child the love and support they need.
How can you keep on top of exhaustion? If possible, make time for yourself each week to indulge in the things you enjoy. This can be a hobby, a date or a short getaway. Your back up carer or someone else in your support network can take on your responsibilities. Your Supervising Social Worker can help you set this up – you never need to face things alone. In addition, keep yourself fit and healthy, eat well and get plenty of rest. Taking these simple steps can replenish your energy helping you to continue to provide the love, support and care that the foster child needs.
Banya support all their foster carers and children by offering in-depth training and ongoing support.
Don’t forget, we’re with you every step of the way, so if an issue is concerning you, get in touch with your Supervising Social Worker for more advice. You can get support from other foster carers too, by getting involved with one of our local groups.
If you’d like to become a foster carer, get in touch.
Considering fostering but not sure if you are eligible?
Just answer a few simple questions and start your journey to becoming a foster carer today.
