How inclusive fostering can transform lives, and why we need more LGBTQ+ carers at Banya
When you picture a foster carer, who comes to mind? For many LGBTQ+ people, the first answer sadly isn’t “me.” A lot of potential carers still believe they might not be eligible to foster because of their sexuality or gender identity.
At Banya Fostering, we want to be absolutely clear: LGBTQ+ people can foster. LGBTQ+ people do foster. And LGBTQ+ carers change lives every single day.
Why LGBTQ+ carers matter: insights from children in care
Although very little research exists about LGBTQ+ young people in care, the studies we do have highlight some difficult realities — and important opportunities for carers to make a difference.
A 2017 UK study from University of East Anglia found that many LGBTQ+ children in care are scared to come out, fearing that their foster placement might end or that they won’t be accepted for who they are.
This highlights why the response of carers is so important: the way a child’s identity is received can have a profound impact on their wellbeing, sense of safety, and trust in the care system.
Reactions from carers varied widely:
- Some foster parents were wonderfully supportive, giving children space to explore their identity safely.
- Others responded in ways that felt invalidating — suggesting it was “just a phase,” that the child was too young to know, or wrongly linking their identity to past trauma.
- In a few heartbreaking cases, children faced outright homophobia, including situations where carers refused to continue looking after them.
Trans young people face additional challenges
The same study found that many trans young people in care felt under huge pressure — to “fit” a stereotype, to make decisions quickly, or to justify their identity to adults around them. Some experienced homelessness when they left care, often without the emotional support they needed.
Recent findings from LGBTQ+ Youth in Care (2022) stress that without accurate information about LGBTQ+ children, services struggle to meet their needs.
Both studies point in the same direction: Children thrive when their carers understand them, accept them, and stand by them.
And that’s exactly what so many LGBTQ+ foster carers bring — not only empathy, but lived experience of navigating identity, belonging, and acceptance.
Cindy and Lina: Your sexuality doesn’t come into it — just go ahead
One of the most powerful examples is Cindy and her partner, Lina. They are a lesbian couple who have been fostering with Banya for over a decade. Their story, and the experiences of LGBTQ+ children in care across the UK, show exactly why inclusive fostering matters so deeply.
Cindy has been fostering for more than 20 years. When she started, she says the world felt very different, “I hadn’t thought there was any option to be who I really was. I didn’t think I could ever say what was in my head. I wasn’t living my authentic self.”
That changed when she and Lina became a couple and later applied to foster together with Banya. For the first time, they entered the process openly as themselves. And their experience? “We have never come across a single person who’s said anything negative. People’s perspectives have changed so much. Everybody can be who they are now — and it’s great. We just don’t think of ourselves as any different.”
For 10 years, Cindy and Lina have cared for their foster daughter. Their home, like so many LGBTQ+ fostering households, is full of love, structure, and warmth. They’re clear about one message: “Same-sex couples have just as much to offer as heterosexual couples. Your sexuality doesn’t come into it. If you feel you can do this job — just apply.”
Real stories, real impact
Cindy’s fostering journey has been challenging, and deeply meaningful. Hearing her talk about the young people she’s cared for brings home what fostering really is: showing up, consistently, even when life is hard.
Being there consistently
One of the first children Cindy fostered was a trans teenager — who had not yet come out at the time of placement. The young person was traumatised, and later diagnosed with Asperger’s. The path was not easy.
“Whatever was going on in this child’s life — friends, birth family, whoever — I was the only person who was there consistently.”
She supported them into adulthood, and even after they turned 18, they chose to stay living with her. Eighteen years of unconditional support. Eighteen years of stability. Eighteen years of showing a young person that they are worthy of care.
Helping a young woman learn what love looks like
Another foster daughter arrived from a deeply dysfunctional home. Cindy and Lina modelled what a healthy, loving relationship looked like. Within months, the young woman found someone she cared about — and today, she is in a stable long-term relationship with two children of her own.
“She couldn’t have had a proper relationship without us, because she didn’t know what one looked like.”
Standing up for unaccompanied minors
Two unaccompanied asylum-seeking boys joined Cindy for what was meant to be a 3-week respite placement. The connection was instant. Later, both young people asked to return. Cindy even went to court to fight for one boy’s right to remain in the UK. A barrister told her: “If everyone had foster carers like you, the world would be a better place.”
Why LGBTQ+ carers are so needed right now
LGBTQ+ carers bring unique strengths:
- Empathy for young people questioning or exploring identity
- First-hand understanding of stigma and belonging
- A strong commitment to inclusivity
- A safe space where young people can talk without fear
- Diverse, loving family environments where every child is valued
For LGBTQ+ young people in care — especially those afraid to come out — this kind of acceptance can be life-changing.
But it’s not just LGBTQ+ children who benefit. Research consistently shows that children thrive when carers are emotionally available, resilient, and open-minded. LGBTQ+ carers bring all of this and more.
Cindy says it best: “You’re not just helping one child — you’re helping generations. That is massive.”
Fostering is challenging, she admits. But it’s also one of the most rewarding journeys a person can take: “Whatever you take on in life, the more challenges you may have, the more rewards you may have.”
Thinking about fostering? You absolutely can apply.
If you’re LGBTQ+ and wondering whether fostering is for you, let us echo Cindy’s words:
You can do this.
You will be supported.
And you can transform a young person’s life.
At Banya, we welcome carers of all sexualities, gender identities, relationship statuses, and backgrounds. What matters most is your ability to offer stability, empathy, and love.
If you’re thinking about fostering — even if you’re unsure — take that first step. Contact us today.
Reach out. Ask questions. Start the process.
You may be exactly the person a young person is waiting for.
Watch the video of Cindy telling her story.
